Dessert

Zombie Apocalypse Chocolate Bark

There’s nothing I fear more than a zombie apocalypse. When I am walking in the street, entering a new building, staying in a hotel, or whatever there is some dark corner of my mind that is making notes of escape routes and places I could hide. I know it’s crazy and I am not completely sure where it comes from, but the older I get the more I accept my neurosis without questioning them. My anxiety about having to escape quickly has even ended up shaping my workouts. I no longer do things like pilates and yoga, but instead endure a training program that, at it’s core, is just to make sure I could run like hell, jump over walls, and survive a zombie apocalypse. Again, I know it’s crazy.[peekaboo_content]

As ever, I find when you are feeling anxious or stressed about something, one of the best solutions is to eat your feelings. In this case, I mean it in the literal sense: Create a whole zombie world that is delicious and then eat it. This chocolate zombie grave yard bark is easy to make, impressive to look at, and, as we broke apart their world and tore into the delicious chocolate pieces, I momentarily felt more powerful than the scary zombies in my mind. That’s worth it’s weight in gold (or chocolate).

Zombie Apocalypse Chocolate Bark

Ingredients

2 CUPS OF WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS
5 OREOS, CRUSHED
3 MILANO COOKIES, CUT IN HALF WIDTHWISE
WILTON BUG SPRINKLES
¼ TEASPOON OF RED CAKE GEL
¼ OF WATER
¼ CUP OF SHREDDED SWEETENED COCONUT
PUMPKIN CANDY CORNS
10 DROPS OF GREEN FOOD DYE
TOOTHBRUSH (FOR SPLATTERING)
1 1/2 “ ZOMBIE FINGURINES

Instructions

  1. It’s important to first get your decorating gear together and prep everything cause you’ll have to act quickly once the chocolate is melted.
  2. Line a baking sheet or any ovenproof tray with parchment and set aside.
  3. Combine ¼ teaspoon of gel and ¼ teaspoon of water, mix well together and set aside near your parchment-lined tray.
  4. Mix together your ¼ cup of shredded coconut with the green drops and mix well so that coconut is evenly dyed. Set aside.
  5. Put Oreos in a plastic zip lock, close, and then mash them up with a rolling pin or wine bottle. Set aside near parchment tray.
  6. Cut Milano cookies in half with a very sharp knife (otherwise they will crumble) and use your black gel to write RIP on them. Set aside.
  7. Set out our pumpkin candy corn, and bug sprinkles, and zombie figurines and set aside near parchment paper.
  8. Melt the chocolate by making a “double boiler” – fill a pot with about two inches of water, bringing to a boil, and then put a metal/heat proof bowl on top of that. When water is boiling, add chocolate chips into the metal bowl and stir constantly to melt.
  9. When all the chips are melted, pour the chocolate onto the parchment lined baking sheet immediately and smooth the chocolate out to about ¼ inch thick.
  10. First put in your gravestones, push in gently so they stand up.
  11. Sprinkle your crushed Oreos around the gravestones to look like dirt.
  12. Then take your pumpkins and put around gravestones/wherever you think looks best.
  13. Scattered bugs where you see fit.
  14. Dip your toothbrush into the red gel/water mix, and then use your thumb to flick onto the gravestones like a fine blood mist.
  15. You can also dip the toothbrush into the red gel mix and splatter for larger blood splatters on/around the white chocolate.
  16. Place your zombie friends wherever you see fit.
  17. Put in fridge for 1 hour.
  18. Take to a Halloween party and relish endless compliments.

Join the conversation

  • amcdavid

    1. Amaze. 2. Can I be your friend? I’d like to bask in the glory of your greatness.